bloss_c
It’s true, I do feel that I’m flagging a little on this journey of mine. I’m loving the work, loving the studio space and I’m making work – all good, but I’m finding it hard to focus and I feel frustrated with myself for going ‘off track’. Actual reality is that I’m doing well! Just making work is a great thing and that doesn’t feel like a struggle. I’m experimenting, I’m having some successes, some failures but all very much within the third important point on my artistic manifesto to, ’be content that not every piece of work will be shiny and successful’, so that’s on track surely? The thing that’s bugging me, is that it’s not linear. I like tidy, I like things to happen in a certain order, complete task one, go ahead to task two…and it’s just not like that. It’s like the ‘bowl of spaghetti’ a friend described her mind as the other day, just lots of threads all messy and tangled and it’s annoying me that I can’t straighten them out!
List writing is one of my favourite solutions, but even that is untidy at the moment, I find myself living with a collection of dog eared post it notes that I can’t quite bring myself to chuck into the recycling bin, because they really might hold that crucial moment of inspiration for some new work or other. Too many notebooks half started and not dedicated to one thing, chaotic pages that also house occasional shopping lists – what has happened to me? I used to be all, ‘tidy desk, tidy mind’ mentality and now, well things seem to have got so…organic.
So how do I help myself with the structure? Yes lists, yes, more dedicated notebooks and maybe use the whiteboard in my studio for something other than, ‘Bloss woz ‘ere!’ And a few scribbled love hearts. Contact with other people, normalise the mess a bit, revisit the plan, learn to love the mess…or if not love it, certainly learn to live with it. There see, that’s a plan right there 🙂