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This became my ‘opening’ question for visitors attending my Open Studio in September, it was a solid ‘opener’ and worked for the most part to engage people who were interested in making conversation. I had some fabulous conversations with some really interesting people, lots of them artists themselves and gratifyingly many of them locals, lending a pleasing aspect of community to the event. Thank you to all who came and visited my little studio, whether your journey was long or short to get here, it was joyful to know that people were motivated to get out and see some art.
Just circling back to that question ‘have you come far?’ – it’s one that I should also ask myself, how far have I come? In a year, I have found and occupied my first studio, done a couple of fairs, moved studio, exhibited work, delivered workshops and lost track of how much work I have made, good, bad and ugly. My printmaking endeavour has stayed financially afloat through this year by way of my part time graphic design work. Going part time on Graphic Design has been a huge achievement, following 20 plus years of providing graphic design and website services, it was always going to require care and diplomacy to reshape my offering. I had not anticipated the determination needed to turn down new work, it’s felt very much against the grain; but essential to stop doing most of the old work, to offer something new to remaining clients and of course to find new clients, it’s been a lot.
One of the trickiest aspects to navigate has been ‘clarity’…how I long for clarity! All the advice, guidance and manifesting techniques you can find will tell you that visualising clearly where you are going and what you want to achieve is key to making way for progress – so easily said! It’s felt as clear as mud for a large part of the time, but despite this, I have made progress, I have come far and every now and again I do experience clarity. I’ll get a sharp, clear vision of what I want to make, or of my future self, and in those moments, I can feel how that future version of me feels. These fleeting moments are just enough to propel me forward and gently flatten the inevitable seedlings of self-doubt.
My point is that 100% clarity is not needed, great if you can find it, but for most of us, the blurry, indistinct images and instinctive turning towards things that feel right, will do the job. Certainly for me, the things I ‘see’ in my peripheral vision are informing my choices, and that strange thing that happens when you look directly at something, is happening…if I look directly at it, it seems to vanish. For now, I’ll keep squinting at the vision and trust myself to make the decisions that will serve me. When clarity comes, if it comes…I will throw a lasso around it and ride with it for as long as I can – yeehar!